personal Summer

I wrote this following a conversation I had with someone very dear to me (not naming names). While I have not personally felt these flashes, I have had to deal with the consequences of the flashes daily.

My face is like a furnace
And so I start to fan
Then just when I am cooling off
The heat comes on again
I have buttons to unbutton
I want to take things off
Then I realize, I’m still at work
My co-workers all will scoff
So once again I fan myself
My arms now get so tired
I’ve explained this to my doctor
She said my warranty’s expired
As a woman’s age increases
The temperatures she’s getting
Fluctuates from hot to cold
And really is upsetting
So the covers I will kick off
And in private clothes are shed
To cool the raging furnace
That is not just in my head
We women bring life into the world
What does that privilege earn us
Hormones that with age break down
And a face just like a furnace


Mdailey
04/27/09

I Made the Paper Again

I just saw the Fort Belvoir Eagle weekly paper and my poem on the Holocaust - Days of Remembrance was published there on page A4 - just like the last one I sent them. I am now a 2-time published author.

Mike

You Are What You Eat

FBI thinks they will be able
To watch what you put on the table
Once they know what you had
They’ll know if you’re bad
Or if you are mentally stable

Did you see what he had on his plate?
Did you catch what he ordered and ate?
It was not US food
I’m not sure of this dude
Or what he’s been eating to date

Was it some Hispanic Fare?
Or from Asia somewhere
Or even perhaps Middle East
Did it smell really funny?
Did he use foreign money?
Was this to be his last feast?

Look how he glances
Let’s not take any chances
Cause we don’t know who, when or how
Though the thought just might chafe you
We all must be safe too
Let’s take him out right here and now!

Mdailey
04/24/09

FBI officials combed through sales records of Middle Eastern food at San Francisco-area restaurants in 2005 and 2006, hoping that the data, along with other information, would lead them to Iranian secret agents operating in the United States. Apparently, higher-ups put a stop to the effort before it got very far.

Swearing At Work

Son of a B- it’s been noted to me
That swearing at work is all right
There’s a study – a case - in a far away place
That brings it all up into sight
East Anglia U - a professor or two
Did a study on swearing at work
Anti-social’s now sociable and swearing negotiable
And the swearer no longer a jerk
I swear said the pair - this will get us to where
It boosts team spirit among the staff
To GD that here and F that there
Will raise morale up by half
So to all you prudes who think it is rude
To hear someone cussing you out
Just calm your jets – I’m taking bets
Your morale's what he’s worried about.

Mdailey
04/24/09

The Story:
Professors at the University of East Anglia have studies the use of profanity in the workplace and assessed its implications for managers. They said it helped foster solidarity among employees and expressed frustrations, stress and other feelings. They assessed that swearing would become more common as traditional taboos are broken down. “We hope that this study will serve not only to acknowledge the part that swearing plays in our work and our lives, but also to indicate that leaders sometimes need to “think differently” and be open to intriguing ideas. The study, “Swearing at Work and Permissive Leadership Culture: when anti-social becomes social and incivility is acceptable”, is published in the latest issue of the Leadership and Organizational Development Journal.

Army Van

Our Army van is in our lot
Cause Army license we ain’t got
Instead we drive our POVs
And pay for gas and toll road fees

For a simple test you take on-line
That doesn't take up too much time
You'll get to drive an Army van
And we'll keep the van as we had planned

So think about it when you can
It would be nice to keep this van
To use it for those trips up north
Or here on post and back and forth

It doesn't take a genius friend
To know this perk could someday end
And they could take this van away
If we don't use it more each day

So you need to take the license test
And give your POV a rest
Or else that van out in our lot
Will be a van that we ain't got


Mdailey
04/21/09

A Friend Indeed

A Friend Indeed

A friend in need is a friend indeed
But this friend in stud was a dud

In Stuttgart, Germany a court judge must decide
If a man’s intentions over outcome will ride
A man hired a neighbor to lie down beside
His wife in hopes of a baby

This Demetrius Soupolus and his beauty-queen wife
Wanted a child most all of their life
But alas all their efforts just led to strife
So they were thinking that maybe

This neighbor, this Frank Maus, could provide the seed
To impregnate the Mrs and fulfill their need
Frank – he had two kids, he was some kind of steed
And he was willing to lie with the lady

So for 25 hundred, three days each week
Into the old bedroom their good friend would sneak
His own wife objected but she didn’t speak
We now know that something was shady

Frank said I don’t like this any more than you do
But I’ve got a contract that I have to see through
If I don’t keep trying Demetrius will sue
I’ve got to come up with a baby

After six months of trying – 72 times in the sack
Demetrius was thinking something was off track
He sent Frank to the doctors and when he got back
He knew there would not be a baby

You see Frank was sterile and it shocked him no doubt
Frank’s wife had kept quiet cause she knew he’d find out
His two kids were fathered by some local lout
His wife was just that kind of lady

So Demetrius sued for breach of contract
And Frank said he ain’t giving his money back
He tried his best, 72 times in fact
There was no guarantee of a baby

So the judge in the courtroom, a decision he’ll reach
Deciding if maybe this contract’s in breach
No matter the outcome, the women will screech
This was no way to have your own baby

Mdailey 04/15/09

Dress for Success

We were just given a new dress code policy the other day. It was cold and unimaginative and poorly received by the workforce. It harkened back to the days of your fathers when dresses were in for ladies and three-piece suits were the norm for the man. We should have been given something a little more up to date and business casual in nature. AND maybe some hints as to what will look good in the office.

Here are some tips to help men look professional even when wearing business casual.

Follow your leadership, do they dress with care
A suit with no tie – a great look anywhere
Sports coats in earth tones or grays the experts all feel
Mixed and matched with all shirts; they’re ideal
If the jacket’s left on so your sleeves we can’t see
Turtle neck or a polo but never a tee
And speaking of shirts, long sleeves are the best
Leave the collar unbuttoned – you’ll still past the test
And if by some chance some “big guys” come by
You can dress this look up by just adding a tie
Trousers: go dark or a medium shade
Add a good leather shoe and you’ve got it make
Think about how you look; don’t close your eyes and just guess
Always remember to dress for success

As for the ladies, I’m not an expert
But follow these guidelines and I know it won’t hurt

Regular sandals and shoes (open toes)
Are OK for the office – don’t forget pantyhose
Bare legs don’t convey a professional look
And professional women should dress by the book
Flip-flops and toe-post sandals simply won’t do
You’ll look and feel better in a dressier shoe
And those of you that are taller and lean
Horizontal patterns in jackets we’ve seen
A windowpane jacket or maybe glen-plaid
With solid trousers or skirts won’t look all that bad
They break up that vertical line you convey
And makes you appear a bit shorter they say
Full figured: consider a trouser (side zip)
And a wide straight-leg will diminish that hip
Consider a jacket cut just at the waist
It will make you look longer if done in good taste
If you are petite, a chopped jacket’s for you
Your legs will appear to grow a whole inch or two
Be it a pants-suit, a skirt, or a dress
Always remember to dress for success

Every Day is Monday

I have only 2 more Mondays of work and then I will retire. Maybe I will write one that says every day is Saturday.

Every Day is Monday

Every day is Monday except Friday
Every day I feel this more and more
Every day is Monday except Friday
Friday is the day I’m longing for.

Every day I come to work with passion
Passion for a job that’s meaningful
Every day that passion loses fashion
Fashion that is feeling awfully dull

Every day is more confusing
Confusion caused by shaky leadership
Every day that feeling’s less amusing
Every day but Friday makes me sick

Every day is Monday – that’s depressing
Monday’s are the days that all folks dread
Calling every day Monday is expressing
Frustration that I’ve felt and not said

Fridays on the other hand are better
Friday’s signal that the week is through
Friday weekend plans can come together
Friday Monday feelings are taboo.

Getting Out for Good Behavior

I composed this on the drive in this morning - maybe I will read this at my retirement party.

Getting Out for Good Behavior

I’m getting out for good behavior
After twenty-nine plus years
They ruled in my favor
For all my sweat and tears
I’ve had my share of accolades
I’ve had my share of jeers
I’m getting out for good behavior
After 29 + years

A young man when I started
Didn’t know what lay in store
Never did a thing half-hearted
Always thought I knew the score
But soon I’ll be departed
They’re showing me the door
A young man when I started
Not a young man anymore

I walk out with my head up
My self respect in tact
No matter what the setup
I won’t be coming back
It’s not that I am fed up
It’s youthfulness I lack
Five o’clock’s too soon to get up
I’ll just stay there in the sack

Mdailey
04/07/09

Bears Do It

Bears Do It

The Mark Twain National Forest
Will be using the stimulus bill
To upgrade all its toilets
At the cost of a mere half a mil
They are buying a Single-Vault toilet
The Gunnison Sweet-Smelling Tech
And 350 pounds per square foot
Will not leave it a wreck
If you’re known for your big movements
It can take an earthquake – Zone 4
And a 120 mile wind
Will not blow down its door

So the next time you’re in the forest
And you feel the need to go
Just remember the bear, who always goes there
It’s a Gunnison built one you know

Mdailey
04/3/09

Sixteen Months

Here are two poems on the 16 month withdrawal from Iraq.

Sixteen Months is “doable”
Congress Daily.com / 24 February 2009: Marine Commander Says Iraq Pullout in 16 Months is “doable”

After spending a year in western Iraq
Major General John Kelly said let’s give it back
Like Obama said back in the campaign
16 months and we’re out; there’s no more we can gain
Kelly, commander of multi-national forces
Said he thinks the people have finally changed courses
Out in Anbar province, the big Sunni leaders
Said we’ll listen to voters, not to the bleeders
And these were the guys that thought violence the best
If they’ve change their mind, why not the rest
If violence is out and good governing in
We can leave Iraq and just say that we win
So let’s start withdrawing – 16 months if we can
Move out of Iraq to Afghanistan
There, maybe our tactics will be more divergent
Kindness to most not just death to insurgents
And eventually we can leave these folks alone
And bring all our soldiers finally back home

Mdailey
02/25/09


With apologies to Tennessee Ernie Ford and who ever wrote the song Sixteen Tons

16 Months

Some people say a man is made out of mud
Well a soldier’s made outta muscle and blood...
Muscle and blood and skin and bone...
It’s been six years and they want to come home.

You wait 16 months and what do you get??
Out of Iraq or still in there yet.
Now people don’t you quote me cause you all know...
It’s just my goal but it’s the Congress’s show

It was born one morning in the back of his mind
He picked up a pencil and he wrote down the lines
He wrote 16 months in the country that’s all
Out of Iraq if I get the call

You wait 16 months and what do you get??
Out of Iraq or still in there yet.
Now people don’t you quote me cause you all know...
It’s just my goal but it’s the Congress’s show

So if you hear the man talking…better step in line
A lot of men didn’t but someday they’ll find
He’s got one way of talking and another of doing
If you ain’t applauding then you’re probably booing

You wait 16 months and what do you get??
Out of Iraq or still in there yet.
Now people don’t you quote me cause you all know...
it’s just my goal but it’s the Congress’s show


Mdailey
12/16/08